Is anyone out there living with a mom who is going through menopause but in denial? I am, and it sucks. Just about every day she decides to flip out over something little and generally meaningless, and I'm getting so tired of it. Tonight it happened yet again. It all started, like it usually starts, with something my dad said jokingly. Being the crazy person she is, my mom took it seriously and threw a fit, stomping off down the hallway and slamming doors. About 5-10 mins later, she returns and starts complaining about the previous topic, my dad tells her to calm down, and she replies with an annoyed "FINE" and claims she won't talk anymore. A few mins later, she returns and the same thing happens all over again. This continues all night long until everyone goes to bed, and it's sooo annoying!!! If she is going to drop the topic, then just drop it! I don't understand why she can't follow through and just let it go. Flipping out and complaining about it doesn't do any good. It's not like anything can be done come 9pm anyways, so what's the point? All it does is stress out her and everyone around her. It just increases tension and makes everyone even more annoyed than to begin with. I was so happy earlier because I finally had a day off today, and then she decides to throw a little tantrum like a 4yr old, causing my dad and I to go to bed feeling frustrated, resulting in very little sleep. It's not good for anyone, yet she still can get it through her stupid little head.
So I ask all of your bloggers out there, does anyone else have this going on? My mom is over 50, and is clearly in the beginning stages of menopause. But she is in denial. When she has her mood swings, she claims she is as happy as can be and doesn't even realize what is going on. How do I get her to understand what is happening? How do I get her to calm down over the little things? How do I keep the depression away from the household? How do I keep myself sane during her outbreaks? I don't know how much more of this I can take. I have survived more than enough years of her outbreaks, and each one pushes me more and more closer to the edge. So if anyone out there has any advice, I would love to hear it!
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3 comments:
Okay, so I gotta be totally honest. I do not think it is menopause. Sersiously, she has been like this for like 6 years. I don't think menopause lasts that long. I honestly think she is just chemically imbalanced. She needs something to help regulate her mood swings. I honestly don't think she can control it, but I do believe that she knows it is happening. Kind of like me and my anxiety, I can't totally control it BUT I can tell when an uncomfortable situation is coming on. I work to do things to stop it before it gets going. Mom needs to either do something like that or get a little bottle of pills that will do it for her. Will I tell her that? NO WAY! I don't even want to know how she would react. What can you do about it? Well, after I moved out I got a lot happier and healthier. Until then, all you can really do is lay low when the outbreaks occur, or call me and come over for a bit to "use the wireless" or something.
Yea that makes sense. I'm not sure how long the menopausal mood swings last, but it doesn't make sense for them to last for 6+ years. I brought up the idea of Sam-e complete, an over-the-counter drug that is supposed to balance out the chemicals in the body to make a person happy, but she didn't seem to think it was necessary. Deep down, I think she's aware of what is going on, but she's always in denial and thinks it's everyone else's imagination going wild. Maybe I'll try again, or just go buy them for her so she can't say no. I would love to leave when it happens and come over, but I always feel bad leaving dad behind. The outbreaks seem to happen more often late at night when dad is home. I'm afraid that if I leave, it will only get worse and then dad will leave too. I wish I could afford my own place and move out. When I was in the cities half the week, it got a lot better. Now that I'm home all the time, I feel like I've returned to square one, and I don't want to be depressed again. Going through that once was enough.
I would hate to see you go through that again too. If you pick ups some meds for her we could hold and intervention. I would be in for that. And Pat is pretty good at the whole 100% honesty thing (we expect it from him). He can be pretty blunt with hom and she doesn't take offense. It's a good idea, i think.
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